1. MTV presents a televised production of Lorca’s The House of Bernarda Alba, starring the cast of Jersey Shore.
2. Pedro Almodovar reboots the Twilight franchise with Edward and Jacob as a pair of transsexual flamenco bull fighting brothers.
3. Lindsey Lohan leaves America for Madrid after her prison release.
4. McDonald’s begins to market “the McPaella” after purchasing the recipe from Manny’s Paella of Hackettstown, NJ.
5. My girlfriend decides I do, in fact, look like Javier Bardem. More passionate nights involving pizza and watching Dexter soon follow.