To Tennis Moms, With Love

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I was reading the Sunday New York Times, and stumbled across an article about matchmaking services between men in finance and women in fashion. I’m not so naïve that I don’t think there aren’t shallow people in New York, yet I was still surprised by the story.

It’s no secret that status is the big thing here. It’s the reason half the under-30 crowd moved here: to be someone five years after college. Yet it still weirds me out to consider that my generation is beginning to get married and have kids. Or, at the very least, seriously concern itself with getting married and having kids. But, to at least create a bit of empathy, I tried to imagine what the story is behind some of these people. What would happen in their lives that brought them to a pair of vodka and Red Bulls, talk of how wonderful Paris is in the springtime, and how they can’t wait until the next Dave Matthews tour. For the record, this what I imagine conversation to be like between all young, successful, boring couples.

Now, on that last bit, I don’t mean to sound like some culture snob. Sure, there was a time when I railed against yuppies in my blog. There is definitely evidence on the internet of me touting my love and knowledge of TV On The Radio as superiority. But, c’mon people: that was sooo 2008 Matt Fried. Now, I’m all about Frightened Rabbit. Anyway, what I should be saying is that: I always railed against yuppies because they embodied everything I thought was wrong about living in New York City. But then again: for me, New York never changed past 1955. I was majorly disappointed when I got here three years ago, and found out that La Coste had turned half of Manhattan into its playground. But now, I’m really beginning to wonder: seriously yuppies – why are you here? It always occurred to me that people came to this city to find something. The least of it was a husband, or a “future ex-wife”. For the upper crust, is it really all about a life of quiet desperation? Do they not believe in fate, excitement, or even the idea that there’s more to New York City – and love and life – than just simply someone to share a mortgage with?

It all just gets me wondering about what we really do think we know about monogamy and faith. Is it really about finding the one you want? Or only ever about loving the one you’re with?

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “To Tennis Moms, With Love

  1. Ooh I like this. I grew up in South Africa which seems to be stuck in a time warp, all my friends started getting married at 21. I recently got told it was ‘just me left’…oh the anger, just me versus a world of wedded bliss.

    I’d say in SA it’s a status or a boredom thing, but I wouldn’t want to sound bitter now would I.

  2. Kali

    Hmmm. I’m not quite sure where you went with this. After the first paragraph I think I fell down a rabbit hole.

    Matchmaking services are designed to introduce you to new people. Some people find that quite hard to do. I don’t think it means they’re ‘boring’ or that they don’t believe in fate or excitement. They might think ‘fate’ informed them about this service, for all you know. I don’t see how this is unlike internet dating – the only glaring difference is that these people are far more honest. Instead of screening people based on their job description in the privacy of their own home, they’re choosing to be upfront about it.

    These kind of events probably have men thinking ‘I’d like a girlfriend who’s intelligent and funny, but that also looks damn good’ and why wouldn’t they take a look there? Why not? Unless you subscribe to the Jurassic view that all girls who love clothes are brain dead. What have they got to lose? And the girls thinking ‘I’d like a boyfriend.. and I love a man in a suit’ probably feel they might as well turn up and have a look around.

    I, for one, think that in their own way they’re just having a bit of fun and meeting new people while they’re at it.

    • iammattfried

      You make a good point, Kali. I guess what I was more surprised by is HOW honest they’re being about their territoriality.

      Whether or not they are interested in meeting new people, the article does make the whole event sound like a status thing first and foremost. And something of a ridiculous status thing at that. I mean, the only way they can even seem to get people excited by meeting one another is by using extremely over-the-top rhetoric in their e-blasts. On top of that, it does pigeonhole men and women (or at least, a specific social group) into thinking that: if you’re pushing 30 and still not hitched, you need to get on that. What’s the point of being with someone, if you’re only trying to check off another item on some biological checklist?

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